Tuesday, October 6, 2009

On letting go, can't keep them forever

I've been stopping by Plato's Closet to try and earn extra money. So far it's totaled up to $13 but that's all gone. I stopped by my mothers to see if there was anything else I could find. Some heels I no longer wear and some boots. I tried getting rid of some scarfs an ex-boyfriend gave me as a surprise because I love scarfs. I think that was the hardest thing to do really. You hold on to these silly memento's only to bring you back to why you no longer want them. There are still a few things I can't bring myself to get rid of but it's progress. The girl that works at Plato's did not buy the scarfs so I dropped them in the Outreach Thrift bin. This weight was lifted from my shoulders.

It used to bother me so much that I wish I could have certain memories erased, like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There is one I wish I could work out, like every time my sister (best friend) says she misses someone (that I dated) I get uneasy because he and I ended on very bad terms. I think of ways to tell him I'm sorry and how I wish we could work it out and be good friends for the sake of my sister. However he is across seas, starting over, who knows when he will be back. Other times I don't care to ever be friends with him ever again but that's just who I am. When someone I used to know left be high and dry I tend to hold a grudge against them for a long period of time. Did I ever mention that out of the few I dated I'm only friends with two and one is a close friend?

Why do we put up these odd walls around people that they used to know?

I never question what to do, it tells me what to do. The photographs make themselves with my help. ~Ruth Bernhard
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